The Beautiful Bureaucrat by Helen Phillips - (Publisher Summary: In a windowless building in a remote part of town, the newly employed Josephine inputs an endless string of numbers into something known only as The Database. When one evening her...

The Beautiful Bureaucrat by Helen Phillips - (Publisher Summary: In a windowless building in a remote part of town, the newly employed Josephine inputs an endless string of numbers into something known only as The Database. When one evening her husband Joseph disappears and then returns, offering no explanation as to his whereabouts, her creeping unease shifts decidedly to dread.) 

This bizarre book reads like a thriller with literary aspirations and I loved it. It’s short–you can read it in a long afternoon–and is surprisingly emotional besides.

Witches of America by Alex Mar - (Publisher Summary: Witches of America follows Mar on her immersive five-year trip into the occult, charting modern Paganism from its roots in 1950s England to its current American mecca in the San Francisco Bay Area; from a gathering of more than a thousand witches in the Illinois woods to the New Orleans branch of one of the world’s most influential magical societies.) 

Loved this so much. I read it slowly, savoring each page of a strange world I rarely get to glimpse. (I need to find some time to watch Mar’s Netflix documentary, American Mystic.) Mar takes the history of American witchcraft back to the source(s), and then gives us an inside look at how it operates in today’s modern world. It’s surprisingly calm, quiet–some of the rituals sound more like a candlelit yoga class than anything else, and the reader gets drawn in the same way Mar does. As humanity becomes more attuned to nature, to the appeal of emphasizing spirituality outside the bureaucracy and hypocrisy of organized religion, this type of belief system feels more right than other, more fascinating than scary. 

Stoned by Aja Raden - (Publisher Summary: What makes a stone a jewel? What makes a jewel priceless? And why do we covet beautiful things? In this brilliant account of how eight jewels shaped the course of history, jeweler and scientist Aja Raden tells an original and often startling story about our unshakeable addiction to beauty and the darker side of human desire.) 

I think I realized a few years ago that I wasn’t really a jewelry person and that’s become more obvious since. I enjoy the occasional fun of an interesting ring, or a pair of small stud earrings, but that’s about it. The way to my heart is through cashmere or a nice bag, not sparkly things. However! After reading this book, maybe I need to rethink this life path. Stoned is absolute jewelry porn, talking about stones in the hundreds of carats and the lengths that humans have gone to in order to find, mine, acquire, steal precious gems. Far from a dry accounting of famous jewelry, Raden has a wry, jokey tone, like a friend telling you about Marie Antoinette’s relationship to an absolutely ridiculous diamond necklace. Such a fun read. 

Little Victories by Jason Gay - (Publisher Summary: The Wall Street Journal’s popular columnist Jason Gay delivers a hilarious and heartfelt guide to modern living.) 

A funny, sweet read, but there are many more memorable versions of this kind of book available right now. 

The Mare by Mary Gaitskill - (Publisher Summary: Velveteen Vargas is eleven years old, a Fresh Air Fund kid from Brooklyn. Her host family is a couple in upstate New York: Ginger, a failed artist and shakily recovered alcoholic, and her academic husband, Paul, who wonder what it will mean to “make a difference” in such a contrived situation. Gaitskill illuminates their shifting relationship with Velvet over several years, as well as Velvet’s  encounter with the horses at the stable down the road—especially with an abused, unruly mare called Fugly Girl.) 

This book is incredibly readable. I wanted to lose myself in it for hours and the back-and-forth POV made it hard to step away. The story itself could have gone a very stereotypical, treacly direction and I think Gaitskill managed to avoid that by believably embodying the 11-year-old Velvet and giving her a rich background, fascinating inner voice, and all the complex teenage emotions one could imagine she might be feeling. 

The Givenness of Things by Marilynne Robinson - (Publisher Summary: In The Givenness of Things, the incomparable Marilynne Robinson delivers an impassioned critique of our contemporary society while arguing that reverence must be given to who we are and what we are: creatures of singular interest and value, despite our errors and depredations.)

These essays are a lot to take in: very cerebral, existential, beautifully-written. Robinson’s intelligence is intimidating, but just when you think you can’t keep up with her brilliant, laser-sighted commentary, she brings it back down to a level the rest of us mortals can approach. The first essay (Humanism) was really beautiful. Fear, Theology, and Realism were my other favorites. 

Hi 2016. Good to see you.
The Book of Aron by Jim Shepard - (Publisher Summary: Aron, the narrator, is an engaging if peculiar and unhappy young boy whose family is driven by the German onslaught from the Polish countryside into Warsaw and slowly...

Hi 2016. Good to see you. 

The Book of Aron by Jim Shepard - (Publisher Summary: Aron, the narrator, is an engaging if peculiar and unhappy young boy whose family is driven by the German onslaught from the Polish countryside into Warsaw and slowly battered by deprivation, disease, and persecution.) 

This book is beautiful, haunting, horrifying. Shepard fully embodies the young narrative voice in a heartbreaking, and occasionally wry way: Aron sees the crumbling world around him the way we’d expect a 9-year-old boy to. If I’d read this last year, it would have been one of my best books of 2015. It’s only January now, but it will be hard for me to forget this one over the next twelve months, if ever. Astonishingly visceral writing. Just try and get it out of your head (and heart). 

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola - (Publisher Summary: A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure–the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle.)

I love brutally honest memoirs, the laying out of the good, bad, and ugly, and this one certainly qualifies. Hepola spares nothing while describing her youthful love of stolen beer, leading up to the scary at best (and potentially life-threatening at worst) blackout drinking of her young adulthood. It’s a really powerful book: unflinching, discomfiting, and important. 

The Blondes by Emily Schultz - (Publisher Summary: Hazel Hayes is a grad student living in New York City. As the novel opens, she learns she is pregnant (from an affair with her married professor) at an apocalyptically bad time: random but deadly attacks on passers-by, all by blonde women, are terrorizing New Yorkers. Soon it becomes clear that the attacks are symptoms of a strange illness that is transforming blondes―whether CEOs, flight attendants, students or accountants―into rabid killers.) 

I wanted to love this–the premise is so insane–but it had no idea what kind of book it wanted to be and suffered for it. Is it dystopian? Satire? Is it about the confusion and complexity of interpersonal relationships? Is it a thriller? It tried to be all those things in varying degrees and though it succeeded occasionally, especially early on, I found it increasingly aimless as the story progressed. 

League of Denial by Mark Fainaru-Wada and Steve Fainaru - (Publisher Summary: League of Denial reveals how the NFL, over a period of nearly two decades, sought to cover up and deny mounting evidence of the connection between football and brain damage.)

Though it was published about two years ago, there is no better time to read this than coming off this weekend’s near-decapitation of Antonio Brown. The book takes its time setting the scene, and this attention to detail can move slowly in certain portions. But, taken as a whole, this is a scathing view of a sport that even the authors’ employer (ESPN, of course) had trouble swallowing once the final transcript went to print. 

The Witches by Stacy Schiff - (Publisher Summary: It began in 1692, over an exceptionally raw Massachusetts winter, when a minister’s daughter began to scream and convulse. It ended less than a year later, but not before 19 men and women had been hanged and an elderly man crushed to death.) 

Hmm. Well, it’s comprehensive. That’s no surprise, if you read Schiff’s Cleopatra. (I reviewed it here.) It’s too bad that Schiff’s meticulous research falls prey to academic-paper-syndrome here. If there’s any story deserving a deep dive, it’s the insanity of the Salem Witch Trials, and Schiff tries–but does not succeed–to bring it to light in a way that toes the line between dry research and readable storytelling. The key here is providing theories, or summaries, or context in a way that allows the modern reader to engage with the past. In this area, Schiff fails by simply narrating events as they happened without providing the necessary touch points for us to connect with the people involved and their motives. 

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay - (Publisher Summary: The lives of the Barretts, a normal suburban New England family, are torn apart when fourteen-year-old Marjorie begins to display signs of acute schizophrenia.To her parents’ despair, the doctors are unable to stop Marjorie’s descent into madness. As their stable home devolves into a house of horrors, they reluctantly turn to a local Catholic priest for help. Father Wanderly suggests an exorcism; he believes the vulnerable teenager is the victim of demonic possession.) 

This was good. Really good. It’s creepy, unrelenting, and scarier than most scary movies I’ve seen. There are some jaw-dropping twists. (Love.) This is suspenseful writing done almost perfectly. Tremblay drops tidbits of information all over the place and you can’t blink or you’ll miss them. Just when you settle into a paragraph you assume is mundane, there’s a new, tiny detail that shakes up the entire narrative. 

Dragonfish by Vu Tran - (Publisher Summary: Robert, an Oakland cop, still can’t let go of Suzy, the enigmatic Vietnamese wife who left him two years ago. Now she’s disappeared from her new husband, Sonny, a violent Vietnamese smuggler and gambler who’s blackmailing Robert into finding her for him.) 

It sounds like a standard airport mystery, but Dragonfish surprised me with its depth and characterization. While I never quite got the answers I wanted, it was still satisfying: sad and more emotionally provocative than I could have predicted it would be. 

H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald - (Publisher Summary: When Helen Macdonald’s father died suddenly on a London street, she was devastated. An experienced falconer—Helen had been captivated by hawks since childhood—she’d never before been tempted to train one of the most vicious predators, the goshawk. But in her grief, she saw that the goshawk’s fierce and feral temperament mirrored her own.) 

This is a really special reading experience, like no memoir I’ve ever read, really. Macdonald’s writing is stark and beautiful. It’s not a book about training a goshawk so much as it is a book about attempting to manage grief, to make sense of a world gone mad, and to learn what it means to fly away–and what it means to be chained down. 

Bird by Noy Holland - (Publisher Summary: This is a novel about the persistence of longing in which the twin lives of the title character blur and overlap. Bird puts her child on the bus for school and passes the day with her baby. Interwoven into the passage of the day are phone calls from a promiscuous, unmarried friend, and Bird’s recollection of the feral, reckless love she knew as a young woman. It’s a day infused with fear and longing, an exploration of the ways the past shapes and dislodges the present.) 

This short book is an unexpected gut punch. I read it in the early morning hours: insomnia had taken over and the quiet darkness of the night combined with the semi-delirium of exhaustion lent it extra weight. I can’t begin to explain the writing: genius, heart-wrenching, every sentence a work of art. Bird, our protagonist, is a full-bodied character in the reader’s mind and soul within a matter of pages. The push and pull between Bird’s everyday and her imagination is so intense that it’s hard not to feel like you’re awake–but dreaming–while reading certain portions. This is as raw as reading gets. 

The Awakening by Kate Chopin - (Publisher Summary: The Awakening, originally titled A Solitary Soul, is a novel by Kate Chopin, first published in 1899. Set in New Orleans and the Southern Louisiana coast at the end of the nineteenth century, the plot centers on Edna Pontellier and her struggle to reconcile her increasingly unorthodox views on femininity and motherhood with the prevailing social attitudes of the turn-of-the-century American South. It is one of the earliest American novels that focuses on women’s issues without condescension.)

I made a New Year’s resolution to read the occasional classic this year and this one had always just slipped through the cracks. I’m so glad I finally read it. It feels incredibly modern (the writing is incisive and spot-on). It’s hard to believe it was written over 100 years ago. I cherished my time reading this, as evidenced by the many dog-eared pages, and I’ll hopefully revisit it again in the coming years. 

(Did you miss my best books of 2015? That post is here.)
The Improbability of Love by Hannah Rothschild - (Publisher Summary: Wickedly funny, this totally engaging, richly observed first novel by Hannah Rothschild is a tour de force. Its sweeping...

(Did you miss my best books of 2015? That post is here.) 

The Improbability of Love by Hannah Rothschild - (Publisher Summary: Wickedly funny, this totally engaging, richly observed first novel by Hannah Rothschild is a tour de force. Its sweeping narrative and cast of wildly colorful characters takes you behind the scenes of a London auction house, into the secret operations of a powerful art dealer, to a flamboyant eighteenth-century-style dinner party, and into a modest living room in Berlin, among many other unexpected settings.) 

I loved this book. I found it occasionally sexy, evocative, and multi-layered with unexpected twists and turns. It might have benefited from some trimming (especially with a few ancillary characters). A really satisfactory read. 

Undermajordomo Minor by Patrick deWitt - (Publisher Summary: Lucien (Lucy) Minor is the resident odd duck in the bucolic hamlet of Bury. Friendless and loveless, young and aimless, Lucy is a compulsive liar, a sickly weakling in a town famous for producing brutish giants. Then Lucy accepts employment assisting the Majordomo of the remote, foreboding Castle Von Aux.While tending to his new post as Undermajordomo, Lucy soon discovers the place harbors many dark secrets […]) 

Hmm. How to talk about this? I can’t compare it to any book I’ve ever read. First, I loved it. Second, know that it’s completely set out of any discernible time and place and feels almost fairy tale-like, with a dark castle, beautiful maiden, and so on. Third, it’s just a great story. I enjoyed every second of its quirkiness. 

Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit - (Publisher Summary: In her comic, scathing essay, “Men Explain Things to Me,” Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don’t, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters.) 

Perfect. Really important. You should read it. 

Harriet Wolf’s Seventh Book of Wonders by Julianna Baggott - (Publisher Summary: The reclusive Harriet Wolf, revered author and family matriarch, has a final confession-a love story. Years after her death, as her family comes together one last time, the mystery of Harriet’s life hangs in the balance. Does the truth lie in the rumored final book of the series that made Harriet a world-famous writer, or will her final confession be lost forever?) 

This is a rich, rich novel: emotionally-charged, packed with unique, special characters and some truly moving sections. It was a dark horse for me. Did not expect to love it so much. 

You Don’t Have to Like Me by Alida Nugent - (Publisher Summary: Nugent is a proud feminist—and she’s not afraid to say it. From the “scarlet F” thrust upon you if you declare yourself a feminist at a party to how to handle judgmental store clerks when you buy Plan B, You Don’t Have to Like Me skewers a range of cultural issues, and confirms Nugent as a star on the rise.) 

This was so wry, modern, insightful. Compulsively readable and funny, with whip-smart passages that feel like your smartest friend is talking to you about everything from pregnancy scares to makeup. 

Not on Fire, but Burning by Greg Hrbek - (Publisher Summary: Twenty-year-old Skyler saw the incident out her window: Some sort of metallic object hovering over the Golden Gate Bridge just before it collapsed and a mushroom cloud lifted above the city. Like everyone, she ran, but she couldn’t outrun the radiation, with her last thoughts being of her beloved baby brother, Dorian, safe in her distant family home. Flash forward to a post-incident America, where the country has been broken up into territories and Muslims have been herded onto the old Indian reservations in the west.) 

Although this book is occasionally very smart and sets our country’s abhorrent xenophobic atmosphere into a fictional, dystopian United States, it’s also incredibly disjointed and difficult to read. As in, actually difficult: the POV can change every other paragraph, switching from first- to third-person and back again. Narrative threads are followed for a bit and summarily discarded at a dizzying rate. I’m intrigued by this book, even after finishing it. It wasn’t enjoyable or even entertaining, but it was worth reading. 

Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter - (Publisher Summary: More than twenty years ago, Claire and Lydia’s teenaged sister Julia vanished without a trace. The two women have not spoken since, and now their lives could not be more different. Claire is the glamorous trophy wife of an Atlanta millionaire. Lydia, a single mother, dates an ex-con and struggles to make ends meet. But neither has recovered from the horror and heartbreak of their shared loss—a devastating wound that’s cruelly ripped open when Claire’s husband is killed.) 

For a fast, suspenseful read, I don’t think you can do better than this right now. It’s a unique–if unrealistic–story in an almost tired genre (so many mediocre thrillers this year), and I appreciated that it surprised me multiple times. Be forewarned that it’s certainly darker than the big suspense novels, with numerous entries depicting sadistic, graphic sexual violence. (If we’re using Gone Girl as a control, this is at least twice as dark.) Still, I really couldn’t stop reading this once I started. Good momentum, satisfying conclusion. 

Hey you, over there. You with the tired eyes, the breastmilk or formula drying stiff on your shirt, the bag of diapers growing heavy on your shoulder: I see you. I see your toddler screaming in the store as you sweat and scurry, rush to comfort, eyes darting. You’re wondering if we’re annoyed. If we’re judging you. If you give him a candy, will we roll our eyes? (We won’t.) Hey, mom–yes, you. On the plane, standing in the aisle to rock your wailing infant until you absolutely had to sit down, apologizing to every soul you could, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”–I see you too.

I want to hug you. It’s weird, so I don’t, but I want to. I want to ask if I can help, even though I know you’ll say no, because there were so many times I fantasized about someone offering the same to me and when it happened, I politely declined, feeling the burden should be mine alone to bear. 

I want to talk to you about how we all understand. We get it. We, mothers, all of us: no matter our background, our circumstances, the number of children we have. We have all known the baby that won’t stop crying, though we’ve tried everything, everything, everything. And we have all sat and wondered, “Who am I now? Do I even exist anymore?”

I won’t lie: there is the rare creature, the one person who will say a terrible thing to you about your mothering, the awful specter of a human being who floats into your personal space and makes you question your parental worthiness on an almost infinite scale. There are those people, I know, and I’m sorry. Don’t pay attention to them. There are more of us that understand. I promise. Just look around.

In the moments you feel most vulnerable, take a moment to breathe and know that you are vulnerable with us too. You are not alone, though the state of motherhood can sometimes feel like the loneliest of places. You are not as isolated as you seem, though occasionally you may wonder if anyone still exists outside the miniature human you have in your arms.

And for the pregnant women–the mothers who are not yet mothers–lest you think you have been excluded, know that we see you too. You are happy, ecstatic, fulfilled. You may also be frightened, anxious, ambivalent. These things are okay. We felt them too, and we still feel them, but not in the anticipatory way that you do. We feel them on a bigger scale now, a roller coaster of boundless love and overwhelming fear. Embrace all the feelings you have: they are yours, and it’s okay to feel them now, and it’s okay to feel them later too.

And in that later time, if your feelings become suffocating, if the scary ones threaten to overtake all the good, if the clouds grow so dark you cannot possibly see the sun, you don’t think it’s even there anymore: there is help for you. There is good help. Ask for it. Don’t be ashamed to speak up, even softly. If you extend a hand, there will be someone to take it. 

Everyone says it gets better. They’re lying. It doesn’t get better. It gets different. Sometimes now, I think about Isobel’s infancy, and I yearn mightily for the warm weight of a sleeping child upon my chest, the concept of time cast aside, the hours promising nothing but abject fascination with the sight of a human that did not exist but is here, somehow, and that belongs to me, body and soul. How can that get better? How can that feeling be improved upon? It can’t, I’m sorry. But, later, when your child is a little older, they will come to you and place their small hand in yours, whisper, “I love you,” and rest their head alongside yours. How can that get better? It does not, I’m sorry. And later, your child will sit in the backseat of the car and talk to you incessantly, telling you about the world through their extraordinary eyes, and you will see a small part of yourself, a part you can’t remember, coming back to life. The childlike wonder that you couldn’t access if you tried will come to you, unbidden, and you will smile at your child and they will smile back and you’ll think, oh. Oh. You are my child and you are also this independent person, coming into your own, and one day, you will realize this. And that day will be beautiful and terrible. But not better. Just different.

I’m running out of stories to tell here. I don’t think I’ll ever run out of stories, whether it be my standard navel-gazing introspection, or the mundane and the complex and wonderful things about being a parent and a person and trying to be both things at once.

But I’m running out of stories for this space, for this little spot, just for now. This may not always be the case. I’ll probably find something to talk about, sometime, that’s not a suggestion about what shoes to wear or sales to look at. But lately, I’ve pulled back, just a bit. 

Writing is cathartic for me. I love it and always have. And, part of the reason I enjoy this space is because I can write amongst so many of you. Sometimes shouting in an empty room feels just right. Sometimes shouting in a crowded space feels better. Mostly, right now, I like the empty room.

There are so many things I want to write about: I want to tell you about Isobel, about her getting so much bigger, about the way parenting has changed for me. I want to tell you about me, about how depression has truly crippled me at times this year, and offer you a hand if you’ve felt the same. I want to write about all those things, in detail, spread them all out here, but this is all I can do right now.

Blogging about clothes is so stupid, right? The title “lifestyle blogger” is terrible. Like a life is something you can construct out of gold accents and Anthropologie sale racks. That’s not to say there isn’t value in self-care or in indulging occasionally, because there is. I had a massage right before Thanksgiving and it was so phenomonal, so completely blissful, that I almost forgot I was a human on this earth for 90 minutes. (Yes, I sprang for 90 minutes. I encourage you to do the same.) My mind was quiet, my body was still, and it was an indulgence and that’s okay. I needed it. (“Oh my god, your shoulders.” I know, lady. I KNOW. They’re well up around my ears most of the time.)

But, anyway: this space. It might feel empty, or even bland for a while. Maybe it has already–if so, I’m sorry. (I hope you like books. -___-) At some point, I want to be here again in earnest, talking occasionally about things that matter to me that are not just oversized sweaters. (I love oversized sweaters.) Still, I’m not sure how to do that yet. I recently stumbled on a couple old posts–things I wrote about being pregnant, being scared, having a new baby. Those were real feelings, and I enjoyed writing about them, hearing from you (many of you who are my friends) about you feeling the same. That’s really lovely when that can happen.

For now, it’s almost the holidays, and then–praise! The new year. 2016, finally. I’m excited for Iz to turn 4. My sister is coming back from Ecuador soon for a brief stay. Oh, and it’s 70 degrees today, December 14. I am wearing an oversized sweater. This is me, saying hi. Shouting in the crowded room.

My Best Books of 2015

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Hi friends. 2015 was a good reading year. These are my favorites: 

Fiction:

Nonfiction:

There was very little middle ground with fiction this year: I mostly either loved what I read or found it just okay. These four, though–wow. They’re so different, but they’re all emotional, readable, and unforgettable. 

Preparation for the Next Life is an intense read, not unlike A Little Life. Both these books tore me apart. I felt the characters and their struggles in an emotionally-gutted, visceral way. And the connection I had to these stories went deep: I thought about both books for weeks after I’d finished them. They’re difficult reads in that way, and also because both are rather lengthy (A Little Life puts George R.R. Martin to shame). Still, if you can make the time, please put these on your list. 

Kitchens of the Great Midwest and Bull Mountain are very different than the other two. They’re designed to entertain and they do–they really do. The former is just a beautiful, sweet story, constructed so cleverly that you can’t help but smile by the end. Bull Mountain, on the other hand, is just packed with suspense and violence. Of everything I read this year, this book captured and held my attention in the most obnoxious–but wonderful–way. I don’t think I let go of this until I finished it. (Cooking while reading is not advisable.) Anyway, the story is heart-pounding and the twists are fantastic and hard to see coming. Really amazing story-telling. 

I read a lot of fantastic, informative nonfiction this year too, but Missoula and Chasing the Scream easily topped the last. Missoula is hard to read, but it’s important to, if you can. I was skeptical of a man handling this topic at first, though I’ve always loved Krakauer’s books. I needn’t have worried: Missoula puts a grim spotlight on our country’s rape culture and its influence on the criminal justice system. Krakauer is careful with the victims he follows, and allows them to tell their stories honestly and compassionately. We feel for them, for ourselves, for our friends, daughters, and acquaintances. Chasing the Scream is a bit of a whistle-blowing operation in the same way Missoula is. Neither the drug wars or rape culture are new topics per se, but both books come at the issues in a way that allows us to internalize and bring more attention to them. Chasing the Scream, about the murky origins of America’s drug laws, and the devastating trickle-down effect they’ve had since their start, is a book of horrors and questions. Some chapters, the ones in drug-laden Mexican cities particularly, are violent beyond imagining. The genius of this book is how effortlessly Hari takes one of the most complex legal and cultural issues of our time and breaks it down into logical, comprehensible chapters. Ultimately, he offers a few possible solutions, while acknowledging the futility and frustration that exists even trying to posit them to the reader. Really amazing book. 

How to Cook a Moose is very different: part culinary memoir, part personal journal. Christensen writes beautifully about her life, her loves, and the food that she eats along the way. It’s not groundbreaking territory, but she has a lovely way with words that makes this really enjoyable. I feel similarly about Skyfaring. It’s not a flight manual, but more of a longform poem about the mystery and magic of humans taking flight. It’s calming to read, almost meditative, and the imagery that he evokes–talking about the topography of the earth below his cockpit window, for example–is fantastic. 

Well! That sums up my favorites. I hope you read and enjoyed some of the same ones this year. 

In addition to these, I read many more that I loved, a few that I really liked, and a good number that I read and would not recommend. Find those after the cut. If you’d like to see my lists from previous years, click here: 20142013, 2012, 2011. To read my full reviews, you can browse back here

Keep reading

Sunday night PSA: these Yosi Samra flats (you already know I love them, I won’t rehash why) are 20% off on Bare Necessities and you can get an additional 25% off on top of that using code GET25. That brings the grand total to $46-ish from $77. They are worth it. (I got the black pair for a few upcoming trips.) 

In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume - (Publisher Summary: In 1987, Miri Ammerman returns to her hometown of Elizabeth, New Jersey, to attend a commemoration of the worst year of her life. Thirty-five years earlier, when Miri was fifteen, and in love...

In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume - (Publisher Summary: In 1987, Miri Ammerman returns to her hometown of Elizabeth, New Jersey, to attend a commemoration of the worst year of her life. Thirty-five years earlier, when Miri was fifteen, and in love for the first time, a succession of airplanes fell from the sky, leaving a community reeling.) 

Unsure how I felt about this by the end. It wasn’t that it was bad (in fact, I thought it was very good), but it didn’t have the same magical Judy Blume spark that I–admittedly–may have idealized over the years. The ending fell a little flat for me and there is a ridiculous number of characters to keep track of. Good, not great. 

The Revenant by Michael Punke - (Publisher Summary: The year is 1823, and the trappers of the Rocky Mountain Fur Company live a brutal frontier life. Hugh Glass is among the Company’s finest men, an experienced frontiersman and an expert tracker. But when a scouting mission puts him face-to-face with a grizzly bear, he is viciously mauled and not expected to survive. Two Company men are dispatched to stay behind and tend to Glass before he dies. When the men abandon him instead, Glass is driven to survive by one desire: revenge.) 

Oh, this is very, very good. I wanted to read the book before seeing the movie–and the good news is that I can tell by the trailer that they’ve altered the movie storyline just enough so that reading this won’t necessarily spoil the film for you. This is a great companion book to Into the Savage Country by Shannon Burke, which I read earlier this year and loved. More so than that book, The Revenant is unceasingly visceral and provokes sensory overload over and over again–it’s incredibly violent and untamed. The elements are as much a main character as protagonist Hugh Glass. If the movie is even just half as good as the book, it will be well worth watching. 

Skyfaring: A Journey with a Pilot by Mark Vanhoenacker - (Publisher Summary: A poetic and nuanced exploration of the human experience of flight that reminds us of the full imaginative weight of our most ordinary journeys—and reawakens our capacity to be amazed.)  

I feel like I say this a lot, or maybe nonfiction is just that good these days, but Skyfaring is a nearly perfect entry in the genre. Nonfiction that engages the mind and pushes the boundaries of our knowledge and expectations, especially on topics that we feel we may know (like flight), is a really special gift. I enjoyed reading this so much. For anyone that’s ever flown, Skyfaring provides an almost poetic backdrop to the now almost routine experience. Vanhoenacker, who flies 747s for British Airways, is a talented writer, bringing us the retro or child-like awe of the magic of flight back into the modern day. 

Beast: Blood, Struggle, and Dreams at the Heart of Mixed Martial Arts by Doug Merlino - (Publisher Summary: The first book to bring readers deep inside a top mixed martial arts gym, Beast shows exactly what it takes to reach the top of this exacting sport. Doug Merlino spent two years at Florida’s American Top Team, living, eating, and training alongside some of the world’s best fighters, and traveled with them to fights around the world.) 

I’ve tried to read more books this year about things I know absolutely nothing about and MMA certainly qualifies. This book was great–inclusive and technical enough for the superfan, but appropriately descriptive for someone like me too. Really compelling read. 

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. - (Publisher Summary: Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.) 

This well-reviewed book is fascinating and empowering and important. It’s really a massive information dump, but told so frankly and accessibly, and with an unrelenting body-positive message. Raising a young daughter, I’m thankful for books like this–books that are such a stark and welcome departure from the kind of sex education that my generation typically received. It’s entirely factual, not relying on the kind of sensational (and subtly shaming) messages that you might see in women’s magazines. I also appreciated Nagoski addressing many incorrect cultural norms, typical false “scripts” women have about themselves and their sexuality, and how childhood experiences or trauma can have a resounding, lifelong effect. She provides realistic solutions too, rooted in proactive learning and healing. 

The First Bad Man by Miranda July - (Publisher Summary: Miranda July tells the story of Cheryl, a vulnerable, uptight woman in her early forties who lives alone, with a perpetual lump in her throat, unable to cry. Cheryl is haunted by a baby boy she met when she was six; she also believes she has a profound connection with Phillip, a philandering board member at Open Palm, the women’s self-defense studio where she has worked for twenty years. When Cheryl’s bosses ask if their twenty-one-year-old daughter Clee can move into her house for a little while, Cheryl’s eccentrically ordered world explodes.) 

My first thoughts when I closed the book: “What the fuck did I just read?” Then: “I think I liked it.” Then: “Am I supposed to like it?” This book is indescribably bizarre, with protagonist Cheryl as the strongest and weirdly likable character I’ve read in a long time. It’s not a book I loved–and like I said, I’m still not sure I even liked it–but it was unique and endearing in spite of itself, and had an incredibly satisfying conclusion that I loved. If you read Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh this year, give this book a try. 

Spinster by Kate Bolick - (Publisher Summary: “Whom to marry, and when will it happen—these two questions define every woman’s existence.” So begins Spinster, a revelatory and slyly erudite look at the pleasures and possibilities of remaining single. Using her own experiences as a starting point, journalist and cultural critic Kate Bolick invites us into her carefully considered, passionately lived life, weaving together the past and present. […])

This book, more of a collection of essays and musings on prominent historical figures (Edith Wharton, for example), is a well-researched and insightful feminist text and–while occasionally brilliant–it ultimately becomes too separate from Bolick’s personal perspective and loses momentum. 

For Her Gift Guide

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This is my last gift guide for 2015 and I decided to do something a little different this time. 

For the past couple of years, I posted a big round-up of things you might like to add to your own wish list, but it can get a little cluttered and crazy. Instead, I listed a few categories below and my own, completely biased recommendations. Happy Monday! 

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I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t like (love) Cuyana and that’s why it makes a perfect gift for yourself or someone you care about. The Classic Leather Tote ($150, available in 14 colors) is the perfect everyday bag: minimal design, high-quality leather, and it’s beautiful to hold and look at. For someone who travels frequently or just can’t make a small wallet work, the oversized Leather Travel Wallet ($185) is a luxurious, thoughtful gift. Last–something I’m thinking of buying for myself–is the Oversized Carryall Tote ($265). It’s available in 3 colors, but black is most practical for the frequent traveler. I own a few Cuyana tees too and love the super-soft cotton. The long-sleeved tee is just $55 and is perfect in your true size for a sleek (but not tight) fit, or go up a size for a slouchier look. 

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Everlane has been touch and go for me this year, but their $22 Drop Shoulder Tee (11 colors) is a great basic t-shirt. If you’re looking for a more decadent gift, their affordably priced cashmere (Turtleneck, $170 or Crew, $125) would become a wardrobe staple. The Chunky Wool Sweater, $110, is very pretty too. 

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It’s hard to buy apparel if you’re pregnant, but Hatch’s clothes are designed to be worn post-pregnancy too. The 100% cashmere Nadine sweater (left, $288) is really amazing. The drop-shoulder Longsleeve tee in stripe ($98, middle) would be perfect to wear with leggings post-baby too. Last, the wool-blend Sophie turtleneck ($268) could be worn with maternity trousers and a blazer to work, or with leggings and slippers on the weekend. 

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It was hard to narrow down beauty recommendations to just four things. I love these for their moisturizing effects–perfect for the dry, cold winter air that’s starting to settle in. Josie Maran’s Argan Infinity Cream Intensive Creamy Oil ($28) is a fun, multi-tasking product. You can use it as a balm on dry areas: cuticles, elbows, hands, but it can also be worn as a highlighter on cheekbones, on eyebrows to tame them a bit, or mixed with powder blush to create moisturizing, creamy color for cheeks and lips. I love this stuff. If you’re going all out, might as well grab Chanel’s Hydra Beauty Serum ($135). The bottle lasts forever, with a tiny dab covering your whole face, providing instant hydration that looks glowy and pretty. Bobbi Brown lip balm ($20) smells so good and does not contain coconut oil (!!). I hate coconut oil balms and it’s rare to find one now without it. Last, pick up First Aid Beauty’s Ultra Repair Cream ($12-$30) if you struggle keeping your face or body moisturized in the winter. It helps Iz’s eczema and calms my keratosis pilaris.  

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My favorite gift! Even if you don’t plan to work out in them, Zella’s Live-In leggings ($52, left) are worth the purchase. (And if I’m wrong, and you hate them, they’re from Nordstrom–free returns!) I’m guessing you’ll probably like them, though, and that’s because they’re thick and compressive without being overly so and last through dozens and dozens and dozens of washings. (I haven’t had to buy a new pair in three years. I have several different styles and they still look like new.) If you wear a lot of boots with your leggings in the winter, invest in a pair of stirrup leggings (I like the Fabletics Houston Stirrup Leggings, $45, right). They’re available in petite and tall sizes, and are especially good for wearing with shorter boots/booties–no cold ankles this winter. For a more luxurious take, AllSaints’ Cashmere Leggings ($268) look wonderful. 

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I have a few friends and family members who hate giving gift cards (IT’S NOT A REAL GIFT, they whine). Gift cards are so good, though. No one hates getting a gift card. No one has ever received a gift card and said, nope, go pick something out for me instead. So, anyway, here are three that I love: Drybar ($10+) first. Check and make sure your recipient has one near them–hey, thanks, umm the closest one is 10 hours away, etc–but if they do, they’ll love this gift. Someone else doing your hair is the best. Next, Lululemon ($10+). It’s a good gift even for someone that doesn’t work out–they have amazing bags, good winter weather accessories, and comfy sweaters. J.Crew ($25+) is another great gift card option. 

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There are lots of places you could look for affordable, comfortable sweaters right now, but may I gently steer you to LOFT? I’ve made out like a bandit there the past two months and their new arrivals are only getting better and better. Soft fabrics, flattering cuts, beautiful colors, CONSTANT PROMOTIONS. The Hi-Side Split Sweater ($60, middle) is my favorite slug sweater right now. The Fauxmere Sweater ($60, left) would be pretty with jeans and ankle boots. I love the dark burgundy color of the Fireside Sweater ($60, right). All these are 50% off at checkout right now, by the way. 

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For pricier, but minimal/pretty jewelry pieces, Vrai & Oro has a great selection. Their Diamond Stacker Ring ($140, left) is very nice. I love Gorjana for inexpensive, fun jewelry, like this Ear Climber ($60). Also definitely take a look at Edor on Etsy. This dainty 14K solid gold ring (second from right) is just $42. Last, I like Madewell’s jewelry for stocking stuffers or small gifts, like this Bangle Bracelet ($25, right). 

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I’m not too precious about sleepwear, so I usually look to Target’s Gilligan and O’Malley line for soft, comfortable things, like this Sleep Shirt ($20) or this Pajama Set ($25). Aerie always makes the most cozy stuff. Their Sleep Shorts ($25) are wonderful. This Striped Robe ($40) looks awesome. Both Aerie and Target are BOGO 50% off today. 

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PAPER THINGS! I love paper gifts. The Day Designer planner is expensive ($59) and worth it if you religiously use a paper planner or to-do list. If you don’t want something quite as pricey, check out the $29 Simple Seize the Day Planner. If you prefer a less structured planner, it’s a good option. Decomposition Notebooks ($10 each) are fun. Last, pencil sets are really making the rounds this year, and I like this Dot & Bo version for just $11. 

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As I’m traveling more and more frequently, I’m starting to make a little wish list of things I’d like to purchase. First on the list is AWAY’s carry-on luggage ($225). The downside is that it doesn’t ship until February 2016, but it looks well worth the wait. For travel bags, I’m going back and forth between a Cuyana bag, this Dagne Dover 15-inch bag ($265, left), and the Lo & Sons O.G. bag ($221.25, right). 

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My favorite cookbooks right now: My Kitchen Year: 136 Recipes that Saved My Life by Ruth Reichl ($24), Sunday Suppers by Karen Mordechai ($25), and The Forest Feast: Simple Vegetarian Recipes by Erin Gleeson ($21). They’re all so good (follow Ruth Reichl on Twitter right now!), but if I had to choose a favorite, I’d probably pick The Forest Feast. The photography is amazing and the recipes are so simple and delicious. Most have less than 5 ingredients and a handful of steps. It’s just easy, healthy food. 

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For the book lover in your life, From the Page’s soy candles ($11) are cheeky and fun. I want the Mother of Dragons one. If you don’t already have one, the Kindle Paperwhite ($120) is the perfect e-reader. I have nothing bad to say about it except that mine bricked three years in. Last, any bookworm/wine lover should appreciate Wine Folly: The Essential Guide to Wine by Madeline Puckette  and Justin Hammack ($15). 

See the 2014 For Her and Slug guides. 

See the 2015 Home guide here, Kids guide here, Beauty guide here, For Him guide here, and the Activewear guide here

See all previous gift guides here.

[twinkle light clip art by Kelly Jane Creative]

Good news! Many of these items are on sale today so grab them while they’re still discounted. :) Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
• GapFit Geometric Quarter-Zip Pullover, $60 - Get 40% off with code BESTCYBER.
• Athleta + Derek Lam 10C Cashmere...

Good news! Many of these items are on sale today so grab them while they’re still discounted. :) Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. 

  1. GapFit Geometric Quarter-Zip Pullover, $60 - Get 40% off with code BESTCYBER.
  2. Athleta + Derek Lam 10C Cashmere Pant, $228 - Take 20% off with code WORKIT.
  3. Cory Vines Neighborhood Fly Cardigan, $68 - Buy two items, get 20% off; three items, get 30% off; four items, get 40% off. 
  4. Sole Society Mason Bag, $56 (from $80)
  5. Nike Roshe One Winter Wool Sneakers, $80
  6. Manduka Prolite Mat Limited Edition, $73.50 (from $98)
  7. Fitbit Charge HR, $119 (from $150)
  8. Outdoor Voices Two-Tone Warmup Legging, $95 
  9. Athleta + Derek Lam 10C Union Seamless Tank, $68 - Take 20% off with code WORKIT.
  10. Hugger Mugger Recycled Yoga Blanket, about $36
  11. Madewell & Saucony DXN Sneakers, $79.50 - Get 25% off your purchase with code SHOPATWORK.
  12. ADAY Up in the Air Jacket, $125
  13. Mira Bracelet, $169 
  14. Lululemon Om the Day Bag, $128 
  15. HidrateSpark Water Bottle, $60 - Ships January 2016.
  16. GapFit Fleece Quilted Jacket, $65 - Get 40% off with code BESTCYBER.
  17. Athleta Metro Legging, $59 (from $79) - Take 20% off with code WORKIT.
  18. Misfit Shine, $50 (from $100)
  19. Lululemon Fluffin Awesome Vest, $89 (from $168)
  20. Cayman Fitness Jump Rope, $14
  21. Lole Ina Bra, $40 (from $80)
  22. Old Navy Active Compression Full-Zip Jacket, $39 (from $45) - Get 40% off with code BESTCYBER.
  23. Yeti Yoga Mat, $60 - Take up to 25% off your order with code GOBIG15
  24. Zella Live-In Leggings, $52 
  25. Free People Movement Namaste Leggings, $108
  26. Nike Flyknit Zoom Agility Sneakers, $150
  27. Powerbeats 2 Wireless In-Ear Headphone, $139 (from $200)
  28. Alo Moto Legging, $110
  29. Thug Life World’s Okayest Runner Tee, $28
  30. Shimano SH-WR82 Road Cycling Shoes, $120 (from $200)
  31. Fabletics Daim Tank, $10-$25 - Also available in gray/black.
  32. C9 by Champion Workout Gloves, $13 - Get an extra 15% off with code CYBER15.
  33. S'well Water Bottle, $45
  34. Adidas by Stella McCartney Gym Bag, $140
  35. Lou & Grey Cold Weather Seamed Leggings, $59.50 - Get 50% off with code CYBER50.
  36. Zella Power Fleece Leggings, $58
  37. Lululemon Seva Sweater, $59 (from $108)
  38. Withings Smart Body Analyzer, $112 (from $150)
  39. Ballet Beautiful Satin Ballet Slippers, $120
  40. Toesox Holiday Gift Set, $40
  41. Under Armour Stripe Duffel Bag, $80
  42. Alo Cuffed Studio Joggers, $72
  43. LNA Open Elbow Pullover, $151
  44. Puma Remix Carryall Bag, $70
  45. C9 by Champion Tech Fleece Jacket, $24.50 (from $35) - Get an extra 15% off with code CYBER15.
  46. Fabletics Ko Jogger, $19 (from $45) - Also available in 3 other colors.
  47. Nike Air Max Thea Leather Sneakers, $84 (from $120)

See the 2014 Activewear guide here.

See the 2015 Home guide here, Kids guide here, Beauty guide here, and the For Him guide here.

See all previous gift guides here.

[twinkle light clip art by Kelly Jane Creative]