"If you are currently in a relationship, or have a past one to look back on, ask yourself this: Would I dare to ask for a favor while my partner is up?…And on the other side, notice your own reaction the next time your partner asks for something while you are up. Do you bristle and feel taken for granted? Or do you say yes because you love this person and genuinely want to help?"
—
Anne Hill, in “The Three Most Important Words in Any Relationship”
This essay isn’t very long and it’s completely genius in its simplicity.
It suggests that you can find out all you need to know about the health of a relationship by asking the other person, when they get up from the table or couch, “While you’re up, can you…?”
This comes down to a lot of what I feel is lacking in many serious romantic relationships—that sense of selflessness that turns this potentially loaded question into a non-issue.
Can you cook me dinner while you’re up?
Just kidding. :)
