I struggled with feeling a profound sense of isolation during the first few months after Isobel was born. There were a few times Brandon found me crying and when he asked what was wrong, all I could say between hiccuping sobs was, “I’m so lonely.” During that time, I started reaching out to a few people and then a few more. On my bad days, good days, weird days, I’d get an IM or a text or an email from someone I’d never met in real life, but that small thing—a ding on my phone letting me know a text had arrived or an IM popping up on my screen—would turn my entire day around. Not everyone is in this photo (you were sorely missed Alishan and Jess!), but this weekend when I saw these ladies, it reminded me that although the Internet can be a sucky, horrible place, it’s also pretty great sometimes.
One of the biggest things I learned about myself after having Isobel is that it was essential to have a friend to talk to. I needed someone I could tell anything to: to talk about how I felt like I was doing everything wrong or how I might smother my husband with a pillow if he slept ONE MORE HOUR. When I finished college, it became too easy for me to get wrapped up in my own life and my own job and to not return every text or every email. A few years later, after I had a baby, I craved friendship. There were some days it felt almost like a kind of hunger—a gaping void in my soul that could only be filled by a friend. In those moments, you all were there for me. You saved my sanity and you made me laugh and you are just so goddamn wonderful. I count myself so lucky that you let me into your life and I hope this past weekend is just one of many to come.