Posts tagged with baby:
A lot of sickness, a lot of work not getting done when it should be, a lot of messiness I don’t have the energy to face. If I’m being honest, I’ve felt pretty sorry for myself. I had a hard time not crying earlier today when Isobel wouldn’t stop crying (OVERTIRED) and I couldn’t find her Tylenol and I was getting work emails and there was snot all over her, all over me. I like to think I’m this adult(ish) person who has learned so much about parenting and patience but moments like that one earlier today just show me how delusional my occasional self-confidence really is.
Still, you know what? I need to snap out of it. A bit ago I was looking through Facebook and saw a link to a blog of one of the moms whose daughter was killed in the Sandy Hook school shooting. I was reading a few pages of it and really started crying because my god.
I complain a lot about the holidays and I have sure done my share of overall life complaining this week, but it’s Friday and I’ve done enough. It’s time to sack up a little bit, get this work done and enjoy the last few hours before Isobel goes to bed instead of watching the clock and wishing it was bedtime already because WORK and SELFISH TIME.
TGIF friends. TGIF.
You are amazing with all the fashion advice!! I'm a new mom, my daughter will be 4 months for Christmas. What are the best shops for kids clothes? And any great holiday dresses for infants? I'm not a huge fan of the super fancy poofy dresses I keep seeing for kids.. I like cute clothes, or mini-me clothes (think H&M for kids, I just wasn't seeing much at their store though). Thanks!!
I have two nephews - one is three and the other just turned one. The three year is super easy. he's at that age that is really fun to shop for and he finally "gets" Christmas this year. I want to keep my gift giving about equal, but it's hard when his brother is only two years older and he has 3290457 hand me down toys and right now his favorite thing is eating his own foot. so I need help spoiling him and figuring out what to get him.
Until last night, things were going well. She was waking up earlier than usual over Thanksgiving break, but she was also going to bed 1-2 hours later than her normal bedtime. For some reason (A REASON I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND), kids apparently wake up earlier the later they go to sleep. (This is stupid, by the way.)
Last night I decided to move her bedtime back half an hour to get her back on her normal schedule. She has had a bit of a cough and has been fussier than usual the past week, but she was fine last night. There were no signs of what was to come. None whatsoever.
First let me note that we had affixed a child safety doorknob thingy on Isobel’s door because she has become extremely adept at turning doorknobs and finally realized how to open one last week. (OH, so the hand turns and the body must move back to allow room for the door to swing? GOT IT.) So, the child safety knob went on.
So, with child safety knob on the door, I laid her down in bed, opened the door, walked out, closed it and waited. I didn’t hear anything so I went down the stairs. Within seconds, there was primal, angry screaming. There was rage. There was kicking. There was banging on the door and frantic twisting at the child safety lock.
All of a sudden, Brandon and I hear the door open.
She stood at the gate of the top of the stairs and yelled.
We ran up. She had SMASHED the child safety knob right off the door. Okay. That’s just a fluke right?
I put the knob back on, led her firmly back into her room, said “It’s time to go to sleep” on the way and set her back in bed. Props to her—when I said it, she picked up a discarded paci and blankie on the way.
Back in bed, she howled and immediately tried to follow me back out. I scrambled for the door.
Commence RAGE FEST.
A few minutes later things quieted down (phew), but then the door swung creepily open and she started yelling at the top of the stairs once again.
She smashed the damn thing off the door again! Some child safety mechanism, you fucking losers. A+ workmanship. I guess you forgot the Toddler Rage Test, AMIRITE?
Anyway, at this point, we were very distraught (all three of us—well all five, the cat and dog were extremely stressed too), and so Brandon grabbed a screwdriver and turned the doorknobs around so we could lock the door from the outside. As he did this, Isobel The Emotional Manipulator sat quietly in my arms (something she hardly ever does now) and laid her head on my shoulder. I was trying to be strong Weissbluth-style but I did give one very soft kiss to the top of her head, because come on. I was feeling like the World’s Biggest Shit.
Doorknob reinstalled, I turned out the light, closed the door and re-sang her the lullaby. She was very sleepy. Rage takes a lot out of a person. I laid her back in bed, turned on ladybug and beat it for the door. I locked it. I heard maybe 5 seconds of protest crying then things were quiet.
At about 11:30, I heard her coughing and could tell she was still in bed by where the sound was coming from. This is very important once you read the below.
7:15 rolled around and she was still asleep. (Little fart didn’t sleep past 6:45 ONCE while I was on vacation.) I opened the door to her room to wake her up and kind of gasped—she wasn’t in bed! Panic! Then the door hit something. I looked down and she was sprawled on her stomach, right beside the door, completely knocked out. She was clutching her blanket and her Elmo. Out like a light. I squatted down and rubbed her back and said, “Good morning honey,” and she looked up at me with hair askew, eyes confused, totally disoriented. She drunkenly got to her feet and plowed her way into me for a hug. Then she looked over my shoulder and said, “Butterflies!” to the big insects we put up on the wall above her bed and she smiled at me and I didn’t feel like a Giant Piece of Shit.
But I did feel like a small one. A Baby Shit, maybe.
Sunday night was a dream. Laid her down, left the room and didn’t hear a peep until 7 am the next morning.
Last night NOT SO MUCH.
I could feel it in my bones. I knew the signs: A little fussy, refusing some of her dinner, acting extra clingy. She got angry when I got her out of the bath tub. (“No, no, no, no!”)
I think she could sense my fear too. Like Alishan told me, they feed on your fear. She had a glint in her eye and I knew. I KNEW.
I laid her down in bed and she IMMEDIATELY stood up and started to climb down off the bed. I beat it for the door.
She was mad. Real mad. She stood at the door, banged on it several times, was twisting the knob. She was doing a mad cry, not a Level 10 Distress Cry, so I considered going in but then noticed she was faltering. It had started at maybe a Level 6 Anger Wail but was, at this time, probably a Level 3-4 You’re An Asshole Mom But Whatever Indignation Cry.
I put five minutes on the clock. Shortly after, I heard her walk back to where her bed was and (I think) she got back on it. She was still making angry cry noises but they were very intermittent. Less than a minute later, everything was quiet and stayed that way until she woke up at 7:15 this morning.
It put the absolute fear of God into me though. I had Isobel “I-Hate-Sleep-And-Hate-You-Too” Day flashbacks from her early months. It was a flight or fight moment. I didn’t know where to go or what to do with myself, so I froze and remained so until things got under control.
I’m still debating the video monitor. (By the time I make a decision about this, she’ll be 16.)
If anyone still cares (DOUBTFUL), last night went really well. I was getting worried yesterday afternoon after she took a nearly 3 hour nap, which is completely abnormal for her. She’s always been a terrible napper and if she takes a nap that long, I usually attribute it to teething or growth spurts or that she’s getting sick. It’s that uncommon. I get a 3 hour nap from her maybe once every couple months. Hell, I get a 2 hour nap from her MAYBE once a month. Anyway, this concerned me because I thought it might interfere with her sleep at night. I know, I know—Weissbluth is all “sleep begets sleep,” but it’s so counter intuitive.
Bedtime rolled around and I let her play in the bath longer than usual to try and tire her out a little more. We went through the whole routine and I put her in bed. She snuggled in again after I turned on her ladybug and she was quiet. Didn’t hear a peep. I went to bed around 11.
At 3:30, I heard her cry out and heard her walking around. She was trying to twist the doorknob for a minute or so. I considered going in, but then she quieted down and stopped crying. I could hear her rustling around with things in her room. I pulled out my Kindle and read for about 20 minutes. I could tell she was still walking around, but then about 10 minutes into reading, things got really quiet again. She either got back into bed or had settled down with a book or toy or something.
I didn’t hear anything from her until 8:30 (!) this morning when she got out of bed and went to her door and cried out for us. I opened the door and she was holding her blankie and her Elmo nightlight. There were a bunch of books scattered on the floor and she had taken everything out of her changing table/dresser—diaper creams, lotions, a few diapers. There were some toys in another corner. I was impressed that she stopped crying out in the middle of the night and decided to play around for a bit instead. That’s very unlike her and a sign that she really is growing up (sniff)—she’s never been good at self-soothing once she’s gotten herself worked up to the crying/screaming state.
I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a video monitor. We never got one when she was an infant because our house isn’t huge and I could always hear her easily, even when I didn’t use the audio monitors. (I stopped using them when she was about 3 months old. They were making me crazy and paranoid and I couldn’t sleep.) The only reason why I haven’t done the video monitor thing yet is that sometimes it’s better for me not to know, I think. I don’t need to be staring at her pulling every book off her shelf at 3 am. And I WOULD. I would get obsessive. But for safety reasons—which could help alleviate a whole other type of obsessive anxiety—it’s something I’m definitely thinking about.
If you have video monitors, do you have a brand to recommend? If you don’t use them, why?
I’m not going to write up every night (DUH) but I want to document a little bit about our experience with the toddler bed transition in case someone out there is going through the same thing!
Last night actually went great. We did the whole bedtime routine, I laid her down in the bed and this time she didn’t cry. She turned over onto her stomach on her pillow and snuggled in with her blankie before I left the room. I turned on her ladybug and left.
Everything was quiet the rest of the night. At 6:30, I heard her cry and I could tell she was trying to get out of bed. A few seconds later, I heard her at her door. I went in and knew she was UP. She usually wakes on her own anywhere between 6:30-7:30, so I consider this a win even if I wish she’d slept a little longer. (Why is that they instinctively know it’s a weekend and wake up earlier but I have to WAKE HER UP during the week? Really. What is that. COME ON. #gobvoice)
Tonight is the night I’m really curious about. She’s well-rested now after the Night of Doom on Thursday night and if she has a nightmare or wakes up in the night and decides, “Hey, I remember I can get to the door now,” things are going to get a little crazy. But, after a rather smooth first night and second night, I am trying to trust that she knows what to do. I keep thinking about the four month old who would scream every time she was set down and who would wake up after falling asleep every 15-45 minutes and I cannot believe we are at the place where she is in a toddler bed. In some ways it feels like all of that infant sleep craziness was just yesterday, but in other ways it feels blessedly far off in my memory. I keep telling myself that no matter what obstacles we may encounter with the toddler bed, nothing will compare to the sleep issues she had as an infant. I recently read the sleep logs that I kept for her then and couldn’t believe it was real life. Almost couldn’t believe, I should say.
Last night we made an emergency trip to
hell Babies R Us to pick up some things for Isobel’s Big Girl Bed adventures. With bed rail, extra gate and two night lights procured, Isobel promptly fell asleep in the car on the way home. -_____- (I wondered if the car nap would revive her just enough to turn her into a Rage Monster.)
P.S. Before I continue, a HUGE thank you to everyone who gave me tips and sent me messages. The information was GREAT and I’m constantly blown away by how supportive and fun this community can be.
This is overlong so: